what the fuck rp starters

children-ofthestars:

• “Oh look, carnage.”
• “I found you beat half to death in a dumpster. When I said I would call 9-1-1 you punched me in the face and said no before passing out.”
• “Holy shit you look terrible.”
• “Can’t go to my place, I’m making poison in my kitchen.”
• “This is the tenth half-eaten corpse I’ve seen. It’s still kinda horrifying but less horrifying than the first time I saw one.”
• “Yeah, that’s right, go wander off and commit murder somewhere else.”
• Everything about your life makes so much sense now.”
• “I don’t know, that sounds like a ‘fuck off’ kind of growl.”
• “There’s a girl snorting cocaine off the counter in the bathroom. Just thought you’d wanna know.”
• “I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news: some of this blood is mine. The bad news: most of it is mine. And I’m going to pass out.”
• “After the fight some dude catcalled me on the way home so I turned around and spat a bunch of blood at his feet. Never seen someone regret doing something so fast.”
• “Is that a fucking dragon?”
• “That is genuinely disturbing.”
• “Don’t smile. You have the smile of a serial killer.”
• “This is surprisingly not the worst thing we’ve done. This is like, maybe halfway up the list.”