brutlist:

brutlist:

brutlist:

hey so i hate that i’ve been making a lot of posts like this lately but this month has actually been really hard on me in regards to my health ( my type 2 bipolar, major depressive disorder , and derealization / personalization disorder are the biggest instigators ), and financially i’ve taken a serious beating . i’m not going to be able to make rent this month , and normally that’s okay, my landlady is very very kind and understands that my situation has a tendency to be a little difficult for me , to say the least — this whole year has actually been really rough . i tried to find another job and that financially cost me , i’ve been getting weirdly sick more often and that’s financially cost me — she’s been an absolute angel , and i feel awful , because i’m not this kind of tenant and i don’t want to keep doing this to her . i can’t give her nothing this month , but i had to take a personal leave for my health . i have a small thing i do on the side that brings in $100 dollars extra a month but i had to use that money for groceries last weekend , and what money i get for the paid holiday ( fourth of july ) i have to use on friday to go to the little clinic for my ear infection which is… eighty nine dollars , and i don’t even know if i’m gonna be able to do that , but work wants a doctor’s note . i feel awful . my neighbor has had to pull me out of bed on more than one occasion , force me to go outside and get fresh air , but my depression has gotten so bad that i just . i have minimal to no support system out here . i’m really really struggling . i don’t know what to do about it . i have no money to make it easier . i’m scared , and it’s getting worse . this is the second leave i’ve had to take this year . what the fuck . even if i did get put into a ward , i still would have to find a way to pay my bills , and my rent . i’m burning at both ends of the wick .

so basically what this means is this is just another s.o.s. , and hopefully with some help i can give my landlady some money i can put into rent . i know that she probably won’t kick me out , she hasn’t before and this doesn’t happen often at all , if not rarely — but i still feel awful . and i still owe her money , and i’m like . so fucking frustrated because i just want to pay her back but i keep slipping three feet back for every one i take forward . i’m so tired lmao .

this is what i’m at currently . here’s my paypal . i can do commissions for basic edits , aesthetic / ship related / etc moodboards , and icon packs ( which will probably just be basic and unedited unless otherwise discussed , i’m not a talented person lmao ) . i know we’re all broke . i’m sorry i keep posting these . please disregard my deadname . if you can’t afford to donate that’s totally fine , i’d appreciate if the news could be passed along . i hope your day’s been kind to you.

EDIT : my rent is $375 , it doesn’t have to be exactly that but as long as i can give her something , it’ll be okay . i appreciate the help .

EDIT : my paycheck from work was literally only forty dollars ahjkfldsa but on the upside i’m getting somewhere around 150 which will leave me at $200 which is NICE bc now i have something to give my landlady — but that still leaves me $175 short on rent , and it would be nice to get it all to her if i can .while it’ll be nice to have money to give my landlady , it unfortunately means that i’ll have no money to put towards food , at all . $100 dollars can fill my fridge for the next two weeks . please donate if you can , i’m out of resources , and since i can’t drive and work a mid shift , as well as get to work through the bus line , there’s just no way it’ll work out . thank you to those who’ve passed this post along , it means a lot .