traumasurvivors:

We need to talk more about hypersexuality in response to trauma.

Many survivors feel ashamed when they’re hypersexual. Society assumes trauma survivors are automatically sex repulsed.

That’s not always the case. Many survivors are hypersexual or may even fluctuate between the two.

It is okay if you are sex repulsed. It’s okay if you’re hypersexual. It’s okay if you’re both.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

ELLIOT’S HEALING FACTOR.

                          ———AMONG THE MANY ASPECTS OF ELLIOT’S CURSE, his healing factor is one of the more complicated. basically, elliot was frozen at age around age thirty. with this, certain things affecting his body cannot remain permanent or will never change:

         

1.  elliot isn’t able to get body modifications like tattoos and piercings, aside from the ones he had prior to immortalization. this includes procedures to cover tattoos, which has caused elliot to resort to long sleeves and make up when dealing with the serial number he received from aus.chwitz. elliot has both ears pierced because he pierced them as a young girl and they never closed up.

         


2. elliot can never have top surgery
, as his healing factor would lead to complications. instead, he uses a mixture of exercise and binding to give the appearance of a flat chest. he was never large breast-wise, so it doesn’t really give him much gender dysphoria.

         


3. elliot CAN take hormones.
since this is not considered harmful or poisonous to the body, he’s allowed to transition quite smoothly.

         

4. he looks incredibly young for his age, even though he was technically stopped at age 30. he doesn’t believe this was caused by the curse itself, but rather his genes.

         

5. finally, elliot’s healing factor is imperfect and completely depends on how much raw energy he’s salvaged through killing wicked people, and how much he’s used his powers to begin with. the more he uses it and the less he kills, the weaker he becomes. its like fuel to him.

12 & 13 of the Father’s Day asks?

12 – What’s the best memory of your father?

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                  ———THOUGH ELLIOT’S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS FATHER WAS MORE THAN TARNISHED, he admired his father in the beginning of their relationship. he wasn’t raised by his father, a man his mother never spoke about until her sickness early into his childhood. growing up in the weimar republic, elliot had little to call his own. his father came into the picture after his mother orchestrated a will and basically blackmailed the married man into taking his illegitimate child. at first elliot thought it was his father’s choice in taking custody of him, something that really helped his self esteem and worth. elliot remembers being spoiled early on, but soon that too fell apart. 

he doesn’t really have a good singular memory of his father.

13 – What’s the worst memory of your father?

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                  ———ELLIOT REMEMBERS THE MAN WHO HE KNEW AS FATHER. the family dynamic was centered around he and his brother, whereas his father and half mother were never truly parents to him. his worst memory of his father came around the time he was thirteen. for jews, this is a very significant age, as it marks ones bar or bat mitzvah, their coming of age if you will. elliot had been experiencing an identity crisis for some time at this point, something his brother alexander helped him through. wanting to present as a man, elliot felt somewhat reluctant to have a bat mitzvah. his father saw this identity crisis as a rebellious defilement of tradition, and beat his child until he was satisfied she understood who she was. there are worse memories, but this one seems to have stuck with elliot longer than any others.

fathers day asks | accepting!

* RUSSIAN LITERATURE AESTHETIC .
bold whatever applies to / attracts your muse.

BROTHERS KARAMAZOV /   orthodox monasteries, deep woods, starry nights, the sound of paper being torn, dimly lit rooms, withered roses, an unfinished letter, piles of books, the sound of shattering glass, ticking of clocks in a silent house, heavy wooden furniture, the air before a storm, the smell of earth, a crowd of people dressed in black, distant murmurs, emptied streets, the fear of walking alone in dusk.

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT /   coldness of the skin against a blade, slender pale fingers and slightly shaking hands, a red stain blooming on white fabric, lonely steps in a corridor, the slow dripping of water, looking out a window into the thickening darkness, a single dying candle on the table, listening to one’s breath and counting heartbeats, too many stairs, the desire to be invisible, a subtle memory of kind word.

THE IDIOT /   classical statues, wealth covered with dust, a dark house tainted with inherited madness, an unsettling feeling, long walks in a park, useless chatter, a silken ribbon forgotten on a bench, a melancholic face, an unexpected spring rain, the joy of reading one’s favorite book, the clarity of mind after fully perceiving the world around, looking at cloudless sky.

ANNA KARENINA /   fields of crops, flowers brought from an early morning walk,  the wind caressing a girl’s hair, a bowl of fruit, the smell of ripe pears, the clatter of a spoon against porcelain when stirring tea, children’s laughter coming from the garden, soft sunlight and white curtains, the sensation of velvet against skin, pearls from a ripped necklace spilling on marble floor, a sudden silence in a room full of people.

WAR AND PEACE /   a glass of wine, the brightness of  a crystal chandelier, white lace, a raging snow storm, the sound of a door being gently closed, the moment of holding one’s breath before walking in a ball room, indulging in looking at a beautiful earring against light, closing one’s eyes for a moment while dancing, the sweet smell of strawberries, a pair of gloves left on an armchair, light scent of powder.

THE MASTER AND MARGARITA /   the chaos of a lively city, ambient jazz in expensive restaurants, jumping on a moving tram, the sight of moscow from the roof of a house, yellow flowers in a vase, leaning out of the window, shelves stacked with books, a small tin box with old photographs, strange shapes in the night sky, laughing in the middle of the night on a balcony, colorful posters for a surreptitious magician’s show floating in the wind.

EUGENE ONEGIN /   a lonely mansion, reading a book in the parlor, faint piano melody lingering in falling silence, long evenings, passing seasons, discussing french novels of the moment, unspoken thoughts, leaning against the door frame, quickly averted glance, eating a peach absent-minded, bright mornings, footprints in snow, a loud gun-shot terrifying a flock of birds nearby.

FATHERS AND SONS /   birch groves, morning mist, moss-covered stones near a moor, scientific books, white roses, cheap champagne, shabby pocket-watch, light-hearted irony, a maladroit cello sonata, freshly mowed grass, leaving thoughts come and go, a slow yawn, picturesque plates and bowls filled with traditional dishes, drinking tea on the porch.

DOCTOR ZHIVAGO /   a strange feeling of loss, writing poems in a diary, traveling by train, the hesitation before touching someone’s hand, the gaze of one lost in thought, the warmth of cinnamon, a scarf brightly embellished with flowers, a glass of water, a threadbare jacket, the tempting void, the evanescent serenity of yesterday.

CHERRY ORCHARD /   a lone chair in an empty room, falling blossoms, old samovar, the unsettling need for change, a mirror reflecting full moon, the disappointment of a glossy object turning worthless after second glance, a piano out of tune.

tagged by :   @insoucianx ( thank you ❤ )
tagging@catastrophicur , @hhemeraa , @cacoethcs , @rosefanged , @yblchth , @killscreeps